This blog was written by our sweet friend Kelly Turner!
Who is God to you? God to me is my firm foundation. He is never changing and always present. He is my savior and my friend. No matter what is happening in life, I always know that my ever present good Father is there for me. Life is full of new challenges all the time. If I did not have the Lord to lean on, then who knows where I would be. Marriage is new and exciting as newlyweds, but it is fill with lots of new challenges. The Lord is our guiding light that walks us through the challenges. Our Story? We met my sophomore year and Jared’s freshman year of college. I just so happened to sit behind him on the first day of school in one of the large lecture classes. At the beginning of class, the professor asked us to turn to our neighbors and introduce ourselves. We learned we were both from North Carolina and only 30 mins from each other! We became friends over the semester, but it wasn’t until the second semester that we decided that we wanted date. After over a year of dating, prayer, and wise counsel we decided we were going to get married. Covid hit and really made us realize that we are never promised tomorrow so we got married! We had a small service with our closest friends and family. We’ve been trying to figure out marriage ever since. How do you keep God at the center of your relationship? With time, effort, and work. It is a lot harder than you think once you work full time and life begins to happen. It is something we must be disciplined about. I love doing bible dates! We will go on a picnic, do a quiet time, and process it together. It is cool to see the different things the Lord reveals to us at the same time. Constantly reflecting on things going on in our lives individually and together. We are also in a community group at our church that we absolutely love being a part of. Community is a huge part of holding ourselves accountable in our personal walks and our marriage. We also love doing ministry together. By far our favorite thing to do together is volunteer in our church with the youth programs. Watching your spouse teach others about Jesus is one of the sweetest things in a relationship. What does submit to your husband now mean to you? The entirety of that passage is extremely important Ephesians 5:22-33. It is always a two-way street. Marriage is meant to represent the church and the Lord. Jesus died for us but also wants us to follow him. Marriage is meant to represent that (so do not marry anyone who wouldn’t die for you ;) ) but in the same way Jesus wants us to draw near to him. Husbands are the head of the house so they will be leading you and your future family. Ephesians 5:22-33 is a beautiful picture of marriage laid out by Paul through inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Wives should submit to their husbands in the same way that we the church submit to Christ. God has made the man the head of the house to provide love, care, protection, and order. That is how it was intended from the beginning of time. However, this only makes for a healthy marriage when that husband is doing his part as well. Husbands need to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Christ sacrificed everything for the church even to the point of death. Husbands need to love their wives and be willing to sacrifice everything for them even to the point of death. Husbands are to love their wives like their own bodies. It makes it easy for the wife to submit to the when the husband is loving his wife like Christ loves the church. It makes for a beautiful balance of love and respect for one another that brings glory to God. What is one big thing that you have learned so far about your husband? About your wife? About being married? Oh gosh sometimes I feel like I know him like that back of my hand, but he always finds a way to surprise me. I have learned we are absolutely polar opposites. It takes a lot of learning, patience, trial, and error to find what works for your marriage. I think the biggest universal thing that no one really talks about in marriage is the real difference it is to live with someone else. You have spent your whole life growing up with your parents/siblings and that house running a certain way (whether it is for good or bad) each family has their own routines and expectations. When we got married, we did not realize how different the expectations where from our families. It took us a couple of months and serious conversations to find the routines we wanted to establish as newlyweds. Those little routines are laying the foundation for the years to come. Learning early on about each other’s love languages is very important. Knowing each other’s love languages while dating will make it easier to understand how you and your spouse both receive love in the best way. This is important because you spend a lot more time with each other when you are married obviously, so knowing each other’s love languages will help you to show love to your spouse in an even deeper and more meaningful way. How do you have hard convos without making it awkward? Honestly, I think the earlier you have them the less awkward they become. We were very early in our dating where we laid out all the wants, we had for this relationship, so we were aware of the other persons expectations. Also, the earlier you have them I think the easier it is to see if you and this person could work long term. KT
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