To continue our series on dating, we have invited Emily Mikus and Austin Pilcher to answer some FAQ's on dating!
Austin: "Share your story with us!": Just like everyone nowadays, emily and i met through tiktok! I came across her account on my for you page one day and she stood out instantly. Obviously, emily is an extremely gorgeous person, but i could also see that she had a heart of gold by seeing her make content about The Lord! I then somehow came across her account on instagram through a mutual friend and followed her there as well, and decided to message her and we honestly clicked instantly. I was falling for that girl in a blink of an eye. It’s been 11 months since then and i’m still continue to find myself more in love with her than ever before. "How do you keep God at the center of your relationship?": At the beginning of our relationship, it was obvious to each of us that God was the one that brought us together. It has been Him that’s allowed us to make this long distance work, and because of that, we owe our whole relationship to Him. Emily and i can be quite busy at times, but we try our best to make time for Him whenever possible. Whether that’s reading His Word together, or praying with another, or simply thanking God for His continuous blessings when we don’t deserve them. We aren’t perfect by any means, but one thing we never lose sight on is God’s sovereignty and how He was the only that created this beautiful bond. And that’s something i’ll simply never take for granted! "How do you make time for God together & individually?": It can be tough at times to make sure that we’re making time for God both in and out of our relationship. But we certainly make sure we’re keeping one another accountable. Many times emily and i will feel convicted because we feel like we make excuses for ourselves at times as to why we don’t get in the Word when we should. Whether it’s because of school, work, or any other reason, we know at the end of the day that we just simply have to push through at times when we don’t feel like it. "How do you have awkward conversations without making it awkward?": There are definitely conversations emily and i have had to have with another that aren’t so easy to speak about. However, i really do view emily as my bestfriend. My partner. And she and i are as close as any other two people could possibly be. So as hard those conversations can be, they’re also as equally as easy because i want our relationship to strive that communication is key to that. Not once has emily ever reacted out of genuine anger towards me. She’s also patient. Understanding. Kind. Loving. At the end of the day, she and i both want all things to be good between the two of us, and i thank God for helping us through some of those difficult conversations and reminding the two of us during those times as to why we’re in a relationship. And that’s to glorify Him. "What are the most important values you have as a Christian couple?": Three things stand out to me as to what we value in our relationship. 1. communication. there have been many times, more so at the beginning of our relationship, where one of us would feel off whether it was because of what the other person said or did. or maybe it’s just been something running through our mind that is causing one of us to be off. one thing i couldn’t stress enough to emily is that i’m always here for her. i’m always here to listen. i’ll not be angry. i’ll not judge. i’d stress that she’s never a burden to me. i wanted it to be known that she could come to me about anything and she’d do the same for me when i needed. and after many conversations when we’d really need to communicate with one another, it has become much easier to do so without hesitating. 2. trust. any relationship is difficult without trust. since day one, emily has never given me a reason to not trust her. before doing certain things if we even have the slightest doubt in our mind that the other wouldn’t necessarily like it, we’d run it through with each other. and through that communication, more trust is built between the two of us. i’m very thankful that i never have to worry about that aspect of our relationship. 3. purity. purity can be tough. extremely tough. at times we’ve stumbled. we aren’t perfect by any means but we also fall back on God and ask Him to continue guiding us and to continue to purify our hearts. as hard as it can be at times, it’s also easy to steer away from that because neither of us want to dishonor God in this relationship. and we’re so thankful for His grace and His strength when we are in need of it. "How do you keep your relationship with Christ centered with the obstacle of long distance? How do you use long distance to your advantage?": Long distance has been a blessing since the start. it really helped me fall in love with emily’s heart before anything else. we realize in this relationship that we can’t always be with one another physically and there are many other things out of our control. but we also realize that it was God that brought us together so it’s our job to continue leaning on Him to guide us through this day by day. one thing we have always prayed for is His peace when it gets hard. and He has given each of us and abundance of peace. i’ve never felt so at ease in a relationship before and i have no doubt that all comes from God. Emily: "Share your story with us!": Austin and i met through tik tok!! he had seen me somehow on his page and followed me there and on instagram. he messaged me on insta in early september 2020, i followed him back on tik tok and developed a HUGE crush, and then a few days later he messaged me on tik tok! he gave me his phone number and snapchat, allowing me to choose which platform i’d be comfortable with talking to him (literally a gentleman)!! i’m normally not the type to want to talk to boys like that so for me to WANT to was huge. lots and lots of peace went into that decision!! austin flew down to meet me for the first time december 13th, 2020 and have been long distance dating ever since!! "How do you keep God at the center of your relationship?": It’s not always easy to keep God at the center because of fleshly desires and being so in love with each other, so we really have to be mindful of WHY we are together and Who orchestrated it!! we pray together on facetime every night over our relationship, over our families, over our hearts, and whatever’s going on around us or stressing us in life. though we are long distance, we still do life together, and prayer is the foundation of life & faith. we also try our best to make it a priority to study God’s word together frequently. "How do you make time for God together & individually?": We aren’t perfect by any means, but we try to hold one another accountable. i also have to make it a daily question, “am i spending more time with the person i’m dating than the One who brought us together?” and that humbles me REAL quick. no i don’t always read my bible every day, but i take steps each day to work my way closer to Jesus. since i commute to my college and/or live 30 minutes away from most things to do in my town, i listen to lots of christian podcasts, sermons, and worship music to get my sprinkles of Jesus in throughout the day! "How do you have awkward conversations without making it awkward?": I think for us, we are so comfortable with each other that we can talk about mostly anything. but it does get hard to talk about some difficult topics sometimes because you’re afraid of causing a disagreement or causing the mood to be thrown off. but if i have to bring something up to him i have to remember that 1. austin is the most understanding boy EVER. he has to deal with my anxiety so much and is patient during everything, even if something is disappointing for him to hear or may make him upset. and 2. God is number one. so if we’re doing something like falling into temptation, it is pushing God to the side, and that is not the mission of our relationship. we know that the Lord will carry us through tough conversations, especially if they need to be had in order to have Him as the focal point. so really just remembering WHY the tough conversation is important to have and what it needs to accomplish. "What are the most important values you have as a Christian couple?": As a christian couple, we value purity. that being said, staying pure and waiting for marriage is way harder than i imagined it being. when you love someone so much it makes it difficult to wait, but also easy at the same time, because you don’t want to do anything to dishonor God or each other. so when it gets hard, we always have to remember WHY we are staying pure and be open about what needs to change with one another so we don’t cause each other to stumble. "How do you keep your relationship with Christ centered with the obstacle of long distance? How do you use long distance to your advantage?": If anything, distance helps both austin and i stay pure since we aren’t together physically as much. it also helps us to have our own lives yet also make time for each other. but it does hurt a lot when we are apart, and it sucks when we can’t see each other every day. but we’re thankful for the positives! the distance helps us to rely on the Lord through praying together on the phone every night, studying the word together on facetime, and allows us to COMMUNICATE for real!! only being able to talk on the phone opens opportunity to be open, honest, and upfront with one another because all you have is verbal conversation. so as much as long distance hurts, God teaches us so much through it! - AP & EM
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