Hey girl! I’m Haven. I’m a sophomore, student-athlete in college! just trying to figure out life one step at a time:) So excited for this opportunity to share my experiences & Gods Word with you!
Have you ever had a friend that you thought would be there for a long time to come but for whatever reason you are no longer friends? Losing a friend can be really tough no matter the circumstances. The Bible calls us to be in community and do life with other believers, so when we lose someone close to us it can be difficult to navigate. But don’t worry friend! Ultimately God brings people in and out of our lives for all sorts of reasons. You can trust that He has a better plan that we just can’t see yet. Though I do not have a deep, personal understanding on this topic, I want to share with you what God has revealed to me!
In my experience of losing a close friend, it did impact me more than I had thought it would. We met freshman year of high school and became instant best friends. The summer before college, there was a situation of disagreement and miscommunication. In the end, she no longer wanted to be friends and I was shocked. I knew eventually that we might go down different paths but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. Even after she had criticized my character, I had a hard time letting go of the friendship. I didn’t understand why our friendship couldn’t handle this adversity. I’m not someone who normally gives up easily and I always valued my friendships very highly. I remember talking to God saying “I thought this was a good thing? What happened?” and He told me “I know this hurts but I have something better I promise”. I know if I was not walking with the Lord during this time, it would have been very challenging to deal with, so I’m here to help you out!
All friendships are unique and every situation is different. I may not understand your hurt but God does. It’s really important to bring that hurt to him first and foremost, so that he can bring healing to you and your friend. Here are some tips to help you do that:
Pray. God wants to hear from his children and cares about your every hurt.
Talk to someone. A trusted friend, a Godly role model, a mentor, someone you can process things with and get wise counsel.
There is no time table. Its totally ok to grieve the friendship, healing takes time and space. Don’t feel like you need to rush things.
Forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (ESV) This can be a very difficult task to do, so ask the Lord to help you forgive them. This is an essential part for God to bring healing in your life.
John 15:2 Jesus says, “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes that it might bear more fruit.” (ESV) Maybe God was doing some pruning in your life that you didn’t know needed. We serve a God that loves us right where we are, but he doesn’t let us stay that way. Through the pruning he is making us more like Christ! I know these seasons can be hard but there is always something to be learned. When we lean into the Lord with these things, he is faithful to bear that fruit later in our lives. A year later I look back on this situation and I get to share with you that God provided! I got to spend this summer working as & with the BEST youth interns and students to mentor who all became my friends and church family. I want to encourage you that good things can still come from losing a friend! In Isaiah 55:8-9 it talks about the Lord’s ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts higher than our thoughts, so even though you may not understand I promise you that he does! For whatever reason your friendship ends: distance, new friends, growing apart, or a hurtful situation, we can always trust in our loving Father that he has something better coming along. He is FAITHFUL and he is FOR YOU! Your sister in Christ, HF
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